Friday, October 31, 2008

Top Ten stereotype people who stereotype you

I will step away from my usual mode of excessive overwriting and keep this one at minimal overwriting. When I am mean and bitchy, these are the people I laugh at...

10. The weird guy who tries to be The Dude and thinks that anyone who does not party hardcore or enjoy rock is not living. Those who are lighter are lame and those who are heavier are villains to be bitched about. Can also be prone to extreme half-English subscription and ignorance of the stupidity kind.
Known allies: more "dudes" of the same level who keep them cool.
Lack factor: maturity.
Most fun when: discovered watching Rajesh Khanna movies from the eighties. Can also make for good comedy if called out bluffing when attempting to share excellent knowledge on what they think is cool.

9. The "good" girl who thinks that people who eat meat and drink are sinners and friends who do so must immediately be purged. Generally will never allow such elements within 10 feet of themselves. Smoking, drugs and having boyfriends may qualify you for the eighth level of hell. No worse deed exists.
Known allies: stereotype number 4.
Lack factor: tolerance.
Most fun when: their fathers and brothers share a drink with you in front of them.

8. The person who is overtly frank (well beyond the good mark) and brash and acerbic but will cry when dumped by friends or told off. Generally carry a high air of humanitarian responsibility but do not use it for anything. Can carry a badly hidden conservative streak. Some call them a jackass.
Known allies: none
Lack factor: people who think well of them.
Most fun when: someone tells them off where they should not cry but can't argue either.

7. The grave person who thinks he/she "knows" all the hardships and cruelties of the world because he/she had the wrong friends/got dumped/generally feels that the world owes him/her a heavy compensation. Generally acts like everything is grey colored and no news is new news.
Known allies: a best friend (for that period) who nods to all that he/she rants about.
Lack factor: a life
Most fun when: someone tells them that they lack experience of the world.

6. The dumb blonde. (I was surprised to note that these actually existed. They are not dumb really but overdo the act so much that it becomes a hard to leave part of them). Generally marry and breed but claim to have socially active professional goals whenever asked.
Known allies: Posse
Lack factor: respect
Most fun when: they try to gain acceptance against their stereotype in serious situations.

5. The lovestruck loser who thinks he deserves every girl he likes (there may be girls in this genre also but they tend to gain their senses one bitten). He never plays by his strengths and tries using what he doesn't have to impress. May have occasional bouts of stereotype number 7 due to track record of failed attempts.
Known allies: half-nice girls who actually believe his act and listen to his sob stories and sympathize (but wouldn't want to be dating him!) The problem is they are not the ones he's trying to get with.
Lack factor: a good mirror.
Most fun when: he gets turned down and wonders how come (this one is like the old faithful).

4. The Jerrygirl (my innovative gender opposite to a tomboy) who can't say no because a girl asked him so. Weak in the knees and the speak-up-please. Can't snag a lass because he doesn't have class (but girls will come and toy when they need an errand boy).
Known allies: more drones of the same species. Bees that will encourage and buzz when in need.
Lack factor: Guy friends.
Most fun when: you watch him with more guys to laugh with you.

3. The Zombie nation that can be herded if you find the zombie leader. Generally never exercise an interest of their own lest they get thrown out of the bunch. Known to show a lot of superficial affection and concern when least needed. Cannot substitute for real people (unfortunately the most populated stereotype).
Known allies: fellow zombies.
Lack factor: brains, nerves.
Most fun when: you take the leader away or add more leaders and confuse them on whom to follow.

2. The auntie girl who will embarrass your mom by marching into your kitchen (when visiting you) and trying to talk/do auntie stuff. Ultra-socialite of the muah-muah type and painfully cloying by choice.
Known allies: their aunties.
Lack factor: sensitivity (though a superficial type is always on prominent display).
Most fun when: you dismiss her but muah up with her friend. Face swims in multiple colors.

And the number 1 stereotype person who would stereotype you is...

The smarty that quietly figures out the system and quickly works a way around it because the end justifies the means. Everything is dispensable in such pursuits and competition is a bigger high than XTC. The race is beaten more by covering your tracks than by actually running.
Known allies: A smarty side-kick to plot with.
Lack factor: real friends.
Most fun when: the naive simpleton always wins the race.

- evil best