Loud and Proud

"Kehat kabir suno bhai sadho, baat kahun mein khari
Yeh duniya ek numbari, to mein dus numbari"

-dus numbari

The rapid rise in our fairly fullblown relationship with google and its wonderfully integrative online services has fueled a certain fear of a big brother threat arousal in google. Chrome was the latest and biggest of the fear catalysts but that did not stop people from switching over anyway. Google is just faster, better and more addictive than any other communication tool. But as your online persona grows in detail, its importance to others follows suit. Since your employer drafts you only after an exhaustive run through on your facebook page, it becomes important to monitor and introduce traits in your visible profile that meet the world's expectation of greatness in you. However even that will be threatened in the near future when your online persona is what the world looks you up for, what they think you are and admit you are once the web 2.0 concept monopolizes the service. Therefore, like robot insurance, you will need to salvage and promote your uniqueness in every way right now when the system is still primitive. Never lose your USP, without it you are an R K Laxman cartoon.

Therefore, in an entirely philanthropic interest, i give you the Official checklist to establish your uniqueness in your self-described online persona

5. Twitter with your last name. Educate the world on your unique finds. Inspire them. Save them.

SYNTAX: [name/twist on name] [misplaced punctuation] [tweet]

example: Ankit ....:-P:-):-*........LOVZZZ A COMPLICATED THINGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ... ...

4. Remind the world of your unique existance. drop a hi. Never more but definitely in good frequency to a good sample set of friends and random strangers.

SYNTAX:

hi

example:

Rajat ManU- 5-2...:

hi

~Saravanan Magesh~:-)~RAHUMAN OSKARRRRRRR!!!! :
haii
3. Communities and fan pages. These are the fraternities and sororities of your online future. You can never have enough brothers and sisters. Spread you ideas among your peers and engage in constructive discussions.

SYNTAX:
[title]
[list of members]
[unlimited description]
[forum]

Example:

Janki Miss Fans

Description: WE MISS YOU SO MUCH JANKI MISS. FOR ALL THE FANS OF THE GREATEST PT TEACHER! PLEASE JOIN!!!

members: 21

Forum: Topic Posts
For a good time, call Jasmine 1
Boys Vs girls game 341
What is your favorite colour house 667

2. Test your curricular side. Take quizzes. Find out which Chuck Norris fact describes you best. Share it with the world. And your take on it.

SYNTAX:

[your comment]
[quiz name and result]
[others' comments]

Example

Kamlesh Shah I am sorry for taking so much quizes.

You took the ' Which Ace detective are you?' quiz. The result was The Green Hornet. You are a sensitive individual. You show remarkable intelligence and your friends look to you for assistance when in trouble. You are resourceful and committed to your work. You are fairly conversant with computers. You like music and have a heart of gold. Some people do not like you but your friends like you. You wear a green mask and have a martial artist for a man friday.

Jake Stubbins and 3 others like this.

Jake Stubbins at 1:34 am
Cool buddy! :)

1. Assert your uniqueness on your profile. State clearly what the world should think of you. Facilitate their absolute lack of perception. This is your primary aid.

SYNTAX:

be creative

Example:

Rahul ........HARMANNN BAWEJA ROCKSSSS@

Relationship status: Its complicated
Phone number: cal me i wil tel u
email: mail me i wil tell u
hometown: Bhopal
Interests: cricket, reading
Sports: Cricket
Books: All wodehouse and harry potter Dan brown booksssssss
Music: dream theatre, iron maiden, metallica, godsmack, rammstein, journey, ac/dc, children of bodom, slayer, poets of the fall, slipknot, pearl jam, black sabbath, hell's angels, rasmus, marilyn manson, Diamond head, Kreator, Destruction, Megadeth, Shadows Fall, All That Remains, Killswitch Engaged, Silent Civilian, Dragonforce, Poison, Biohazard, Kill them all, Vomit eaters, Axe in my head, Judas Priest, Motley Crue, Rage against the Machine, White Zombie to name a few
Food: all types i am a major foodie.
*IMPORTANT*
about me: i am not your average guy. I am a rebel. I am idiosyncratic and irrascibal. but i am also very sensitive on the inside. i give a lot of love and expect back also.

lIFe iZ A GamE aNNd I mA PlaYaH




-end




Congratulations. You are now truly unique.

Promote a meme today

Hallelujah!

We are informed that the person involved is a PhD candidate in the department of Opthalmology

Quantum Karma

Yes, Karma is like the free market. It solves everything. Even if you are atheist you have to believe in it because it is completely scientific. It is only chaos theory explained more modestly by the vedas by high-end theoretician rishi-munis of the past yugas.

The easiest way to prove karma is a thought experiment. I use one for two reasons:

1. A thought experiment is limited by only your imagination. You can have honest politicians and open source windows.

2. It can make me famous. Descartes' mind, Maxwell's demon and Schrödinger's pussycat are evidence to that.

The current limit of microscopy is only to atomic resolution. So I borrow the binoculars that telugu RAW enforcer Kamal Hassan used from a helicopter to see virus multiplication in the villain's blood from a mile away for my purpose. I sit down and zoom in on my knee. Tissue resolution. BANG.Cellular resolution. BANG. Molecular resolution. BANG. Atomic resolution. BANG BANG. Sub-atomic resolution. BANG BANG BANG. quarks.

And there you see colored balls. You see rubbing charged clouds that are moving around. Zoom further. BANG. You see fast moving undulations on the surface. You press the slow-mo button. There, the traffic's better. Zoom further. You see something that looks like the Florida keys on the surface. Zoom further and you see a orange brick building. Zoom further and you see yourself.

Yes that is the truth. There is no Scientology and there is no Vedanta. There is no 42 and there is no spoon. There is only circularization in the 11th dimension. And that pretty much answers everything. Move your right arm and signal a no ball and the model you see through the lens does it too. Every surface element on every quark on every atom in every cell of your body has you and others in it. You influence it extraneously by your daily actions. Confusing, yes but nevertheless cool.

Each different quark from each atom of each cell is a different dimension in the 5th and the 6th level borne out of your decisions and actions. Some fall off when they are meaningless (google: Cell Death). Some remain all your life. Your cellularity increases with your age and but when you hit old age the dimensions converge and the count comes down. Fascinating.

This is why a sub-atomic model looks like the picture of a galaxy. This is why the hindu, sumerian and aztec scriptures have unraveled science without current technology. This is why the force of faith works, cancers are cured and idols drink 2% milk.

This is how the stars control you. This is how astrology is true. Since sub-molecular resolution imaging requires a mathematical lens (google: diffraction theory), obviously astrology uses its inverse fourier transforms to unravel the future and stays accurate within its error bars. And here's the clincher. Hindu science says that there are 7 janmas (births) and hindi movies say that there are always 7 identical people on the earth. Add two and two and insert this theory.

Yeah, I know.

This is how everything is overlying as well as underlying. This is why all races and religions are equal and yet different. This is why there is ONE god. This even verifies a satanist's concept of one being one's own god. This is how your actions reach back to you and to others by spectral means.

I hope this has inspired you to be more inventive, progressive yet accommodative in your thought. Don't bash religion just because it has loose ends. Solve the problem the scientific way and be creative. I am sure I have summed only a small fraction of the potential of this theory and more threads can be tied together if more minds are applied. You are welcome to add some azure notes that promote this wonderful ideology and make benifit glorious nation of Kazhakistan.

-The blue blog cult. No if. No but. sirf nut...

ten practical reasons to switch to linux (for the non-programmer/ordinary user...so don't run away on seeing the title)

Rules for me:
-The twisted world assumes that ideological = impractical. Therefore I will not invoke ideological debates on FOSS and corporate monopoly.
-Being better than the worst does not make you good. Therefore no comparisons will be made with windows vista. Though I thank it profusely for driving me into linux.

Hem, hem...Ten practical reasons.

10. Every average piece of software that you use on linux IS FREE. You may choose to purchase specific software suites like research imaging software but for everyday purposes, everything is free. This includes the operating system. You do not have to spend a dime on anything beyond your hardware. Ubuntu linux, in fact, is shipped for free as well when you order it.

9. Any software that you need is available in a single descriptive repository program called the package manager. All you would have to do is check what you wish to install from the list and once you are done the software gets downloaded and installed automatically and in one shot without going through a host of checks and options. Any software. You do not have to go online and search webpages for legal software and download and install each individually. There is nothing like a trial or partial version. The repositories are maintained free of malware so you don't have to worry about them. Just check off the list and it is delivered full and safe. And free.

8. The functioning is faster. The installation is faster. The internet is faster. It is just much simpler and better organized than anything else that you are currently using. A Mac definitely gets close because of its unix core but linux is the gold standard for speed because it manages even a heterogenous set of programs better. RAM utilization is excellent so you don't have to keep buying new chips every year. Recommended (basic is even lesser) system requirements match those of windows and mac from 5 years ago. And it is free.

7. Upgrade to new versions of programs and even operating systems seamlessly in minutes. Synchronize all your data online automatically without a click.

6. Middle click to copy and paste. If you do not find it more addictive than tabbed browsing then I will switch to Windows Vista for the rest of my life.

5. Eye candy. Yes, Eye candy. For those that value appearance and aesthetics, Compiz on linux is more customizable, use oriented and visually stunning than Aero or Aqua. In addition, the physics are spot on as made note of by experts. And it is free.

4. No you do not have to learn to use terminals and write programs. Yes you have a GUI with buttons and hyperlinks with easy options. Yes linux is compatible with almost every piece of hardware unless you are evil and tailor make it to be Windows only only only. It runs on Mac and on a pc to the full. I think someone actually managed to make it run on a toaster. And yes, it is free.

3. Customize. Integrate. Don't do what the program allows you to. Tell the program what you want. Tailor your desktop to look like a mac or a windows or a unique hybrid interface that suits your mood and whim. Work a web page like a program from your computer. Automate a sequence of unrelated programs and name it after your girlfriend. Delete anything including the start menu button and the dock. Create a hundred other things that you prefer in its place. Run windows games and even office 2007 or 2008. Make and break doors, walls and windows.
Windows does not do it. Mac tries. Linux delivers. For free.

2. One stop solutions. You have one player that plays all breeds of music and videos. One ripper for all purposes. One IM that covers everything. And it need not be an i-something. Pick what you prefer. Yeah, free.

1. Control. Liberty. Independence.

Rules for you:
-read without fear
-think without fear
-live without fear.

Average Monday

It is 6:30 am. You jump start your day by cart-wheeling out of bed and smoothly landing next to your alarm clock. You stop its tantrums, grab a towel and get washed, cleaned and dressed. You wolf down a bowl of cereal grab your essentials and head out to lab. It is a beautiful day and everything outside looks surreal. You jaunt down the walkway as you turn on the music. 'Bhor aayi gaya andhiyara' floats into your ears. It is perfect.

It is 7:15 am. You walk into lab, open the -20, get out a frozen cell pellet and put it in the water bath. You head to your desk where two screens of floating 3D bubbles suddenly switch to a login screen as you roll your fingers over the mouse. You want to start your perfect day with checking the news, mail and sporting highlights. John walks into your room and sees you, looks at his watch, smirks and walks away. You look at him, turn back to your screen and smile to yourself. He's not going to ruin this monday. Yeah.

It is 7:45 am. The mail has been marked as read. Some have been responded to. Nothing new in sports or world news. You interlock your fingers and bend them till you hear eight cracking effects in unison. Work begins.

It is 8:45 am. Every one else pours into lab and wishes you a good morning. You pull off your head phones and wish them back. You stop scaling the data that you were at and start discussing with them, your ideas on the idiots of the world.

It is 9 am. Rob walks in with a tall mug of coffee. 'He drinks too much coffee for a Brit', you tell yourself for the nth time. Rob claps his hands and announces, 'protein group meeting'. You grab your notebook and walk over to the meeting desks.

It is 9:30 am. You have to leave for Dr. Muzyczka's Advanced Virology class. But you also want to just leave the lab and run away. John told the others about how you showed up at 7:15 am. Kat raised her eyebrows, Jeanne laughed and Rob nearly spilt his coffee. You gave an uneasy smile and said you do come in early sometimes. They laugh harder. It dies down and the meeting resumes. Near the end Rob says, "The ones of you that are really cool would...". Jeanne buries herself further into her arms, Kat looks straight up at the ceiling and John tilts his chair back further. Rob looks at you and smiles. You open your mouth in horror. He hands you a small list of high school student names and tells you about how they will visit the lab and look to you for a 2 hour tour of the facility. You curse yourself. You want to run away. Rob realizes your plight and smiles wider. John smiles too and Kat gets back to looking around the table. You want to run away. Yeah.

It is 10:30 am - You spent an hour in Dr. Muzyczka's class learning how to tilt your chair on one leg without holding the table. You grab a tall cup of hot chocolate from Starbucks on your way back to lab. You enter and notice that the morning's excitement has died down. People are briskly walking around with gloved hands and others are peering into lines and lines of codes and numbers on their computer screens. You head silently to yours, open a terminal and resume your scaling. You take breaks to go to your wetlab bench and work on the cell pellet.

It is 12:30 pm - Your data scaling has progressed. The cell debris has been seperated from the supernatent. Rob walked in 3 times and informed you that he has emailed you something that he also tells you in person. You nod away to the side and see Kat and Jeanne head out for lunch. You join them and walk over to the cafeteria.

It is 1:00 pm - Life is not fair at all. Tina needed the cells that you had lysed because the virus in them was a mutant virus and not the wild type that you expected it to be. She apologizes to you for not labeling the tube. You get a fleeting image of mahatma gandhi in your head and tell her that she can of course have the sample. She smiles at you and thanks you. You walk back to your desk in the manner of a saint that gave up the last of his clothes to a freezing man. Tina thanks you again and smiles at you. You wave your hand and smile like a good king and sit down at your desk. Tina thanks you again and smiles at you. Something is wrong. It took you too long to realize that it was quite a foolish move to do that in front of the rest of the lab. Everyone else is grinning away too. John turns around, looks at you and a broad grin opens up on his face and mutters, "Waitaminnit. You did that all morning and it wasn't wild type?". He is evil. Rob walks in, smells the air, turns to you and smiles almost identically. You curse both of them and make a mental note to enter their email addresses at a porn site database. On second thoughts, you decide to enter the entire lab's set of email addresses at a porn site database. With the exception of yourself.

It is 2:30 pm - You download the paper that is to be discussed at Crystallography journal club and read through it carefully. You take short breaks in the middle where you stare around at what the others are doing and check your mail.

It is 2:55 pm - You have finished reading the paper. You look up at the Chuck Norris poster that you got on your birthday, grab your laptop and join the rest of the bunch as the head out for journal club.

It is 4 pm - Journal club was fun. Your spirits return. You check your mail. You call the racquetball club and book a court for 6 pm. You do not want to work now so you join the rest of the bunch as they crack jokes on Rob and ridicule his accent. You join in and use the chance to call Rob a few names as Rob sighs silently and takes the hits. You realize that Rob will never be the bully of the lab. Ever.

It is 5 pm - You walk to Mavis' room and tell her about your day's progress. You nearly talk to her for 45 minutes before you realize that you have to run to racquetball. You grab your shoes and break into a trot as you head up the hill.

It is 7 pm - Racquetball was a blast. You won the series 3-2. You walk home, get a shower and make some spaghetti. You eat it slowly as you check on recent videos on youtube. After that you grab a cup of Yoghurt and settle on the couch and watch Sportscenter on TV.

It is 8 pm - You head back to lab. Its quiet. Nobody is here. You flip on the lights in your room and get back to work. You turn on the music. It was a good idea to rummage through the old computer equipment to find these speakers. People randomly walk in and out of lab. You briskly walk get some purification done and refine data.

It is 11 pm - You head back home and speak to Subbu along the way. You then speak to mom and dad on skype for 10 minutes, do the dishes, clean up, grab your psp and turn on some comedy videos and flop on the bed. You are asleep in 3 minutes.