My first world problem for the day? The smartphone and its games.
I have an interesting situation at work. So if I keep the smartphone on the left side of the desk, it is too far from the wifi router - no internet but one bar to receive calls. If I keep it on the right side of the desk, away from the window (yeah I have a window and the view is awesome!), it loses that one bar but grabs on to the wifi signal - no calls, just internet. Which one do I pick?
I thought for a bit, picked the phone up, stuffed it into my pocket and started working. Problem solved.
A big part of the technique of teasing involves identifying a good target. Someone that will show an emotional response easily; someone whose pants can be pulled down faster. Most everyone tends to lose interest in teasing someone who does not budge to the first few tries. Successfully getting rid of gender bias is going to require a heavy lack of budging and this post will attempt to discuss that.
Now it is not always specific people that need to be identified as much has their specific blind spots. With women, slut-shaming is the most effective means of hitting that blind spot. Even the most secure and forward of women have a hard time handling it. Part of the problem, at least in the Indian context, is a poorly paced feminist movement. It is hard and pointless to figure out whom to blame for it, but somehow the liberalization process has chosen to move so fast that it has skipped an essential step - the actual liberalization. So now we have the markers of a liberal society but not the thought that should go with it. We have people engaging in pre-marital sex to beat others in the race to lose one's virginity. We have people dressed in new-age attire to prove a point. The problem with that is the confidence that should go with the superficial progress fails to achieve the desired threshold. We are now more vulnerable to bad judgement and negative press on two levels.
So the offenders reach straight for the silver bullet. They call you a slut and you're shot through the heart. And who is to be blamed? The offenders obviously, for being uncivilized. Advocates for abstinence will indirectly blame you, the victim, by painting the world in irreversible cruelty and suggesting that you remove your modern-age markers. The thing is blaming, while it needs to be done as a future deterrent for the offender, is not part of the solution for you. Have you ever tried slut-shaming a man? They would laugh at you, because no such derogatory concept seems to exist. Accuse him of lechery and he will gladly embrace it with a grin that knows no shame. Ironically, the only way to demean a man on the same count is by calling him a woman!
This is a battle of strength to be fought by weak that are trying to get stronger. The next time you get picked on, don't fall for it and get slut shamed. Take a moment and ponder the rationale of the concept. There really are worse things to be than a slut. It is quite difficult to harden oneself to the idea but it needs to be done if we are to fight through and win this battle. They slut-shame because they are afraid of your progress. They slut-shame because they do not want your inner confidence to catch up with the confidence your body shows. They slut-shame because they do not want to share their place on top of the hill. We will need evasive action if we want to keep moving up the hill and abstinence or hurt will only impede our progress. Keep those pepper sprays, pocket knives and tasers and let hell loose on anyone that will dare to touch you, but for all other verbal artillery, keep calm and party on.
"What does depraved mean?" Mom asked without looking away from her computer screen. She was reading an article from an Indian news channel website. I was in the middle of getting ready for work so I just said lowly and continued packing my lunch bag. "That can't be right", said mom. I walked over to her as she pointed at her article. 'Delhi rape accused will be produced in court today' read the headline. She pointed to a line from the middle of the article that said 'The fifteen year old was the most depraved of the accused'. I had a number of different thoughts immediately. I probably have the meaning of the word wrong. The article was probably poorly written. I had to rush to catch my bus though so I put those thoughts on hold and returned to my lunch bag.
I just checked the dictionary meaning for depraved on the bus. I did not have it wrong. Sigh.