Saturday, May 19, 2012

The Prince Charming diaries

The simple question is Why this kolaveri ?

I have often been accused of being passive about my political stances on social issues and I admit to being guilty as charged. But there is a reason for that. Active stances require a smart game plan and stable resources to work and immediately I do not have either. So I stick with self-correction and lobbying; passive methods but crucial to ensure that I am not part of the problem. On the day that I will need to deliver, it will flow. There is a bigger reason for a passive stance too. Most of the people I get to see over a day or a month or a year are not really involved in the process of political wrong. So dropping free advice or biting them with my sarcasm while they are running the breast cancer marathon is just not a smart idea. One has to be careful on what that services - the goal or my ego. No ego in the world needs to be serviced even slightly for any reason. The goal is better serviced when the active stance is made when you need to make it. When you see it happen drop that grenade. I have concluded from practice that capital action can be a brilliant deterrent.

Today I take a semi-active stance. The real focus of this post is more specific to one particular social issue - urban male angst. It is not the worst issue in the world but it is the one that does not make the news unless a crime is involved. But what if you are not a criminal? Most of the backstories are quite heart-rending and rarely is romance not involved. Almost every story starts out like a fairly tale until reality hits. The nice guy. Finished last. Treated like a slave. Ignored. Used. Abused. Left alone. Dumped. Cheated on.  My heart goes out to you brother. Man-hug. What follows is where the problem begins and the problem is not how to deal with it - that takes care of itself - the problem is how to deal with that the right way and man is that a problem! A dangerously emotional series of generalizations and oversimplifications about the opposite sex ensues. Why are they so fickle? Why are they so shifty? Why don't they care? What is their agenda? Why are they so selfish? How are they so happy? Where is the conscience? All that crazy questioning and the lack of answers compound into a rage-fueled violent volcano of angst. Sluts. Bitches. Whores. All of them. Wrong route bro. You don't understand them right now but when you are emotional and full of sympathy for yourself, you don't want to understand anything. In that pool are our moms and sisters and the women that will be the grandmothers of our brood. You should grieve for your loss and your pain but you cannot expect a perfect correlation between your aspirations and what you get on the plate.

There are two flags that I always proudly wave - the Florida Gator flag and the feminism flag. I hear that both are insufferable. But I will accept criticism only for the former. Yes, egalitarianism is the ideal to be achieved but we are not at an equal stage now to expect that! It is a mirthless joke that the same gentlemen that applaud affirmative action do not have the same level of enthusiasm for feminism. Let us step away to a gender neutral plane for a moment and just observe what seems to be happening around the world right now. Major news on human rights violations. Rape, abuse, dowry - I want to see some statistics on what majority of that happens with the male sex. Polygamy, wherever an issue, is a male exercise. The last time I heard, there still are more men than women in the world and that is a population statistic, not a genetic effect. Women that have not technically been abused still have their own little stories of public discomfort, lewd behavior and correspondence molestation. I haven't heard male equivalents of such stories. Well I have, but they are summed up by one word - awesome. It could be argued that males have psychological trauma but that is precisely the point. That is all they have to worry about! Women have to deal with the psychological part as well as physical human rights violations. Way bigger problem.  So damn right they will be fickle. They don't know if the next approaching male is the Mr. nice guy you claim to be or Chester the molester. Until we can guarantee, at least statistically, that crimes against women are mostly gone, the female insecurity will stay part of the package. Deal with it, because our representatives are involved actively against your guarantees and mine. If you want better, find them, stop them, castrate them.

It is true that there can still be some selfish cats out there that scratch despite your best efforts but that is not a gender issue anymore. The men and women that are burnt pay for either inexperience or stupidity, and both have to be paid for because they make that choice. Nice guys don't finish last, nice guys without balls do. What race is this anyway? Nobody can certify permanency or insurance in this department. Hold the rage horses, channel that inner gentleman and stay classy brothers. 

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