Friday, November 20, 2009

Self pity

From a so-called victim of the Tobacco-Free Florida Movement:

I met my wife at Texeco 3 years ago. She was in front of me in line. I spent the whole time checking out her ass in those tight low rider jeans that show just the tippy top of a girls crack. She was wearing a zebra print thong. I could feel a stogie forming in my lower regions. I thought about askin' for her number, but figured, 'a girl like that would never go for a guy like me.' As I was leaving that wonderful gas pumpin' establishment, I saw her unwrapping a pack of cigarettes. She dropped the pack. I leaned over to pick it up for her, and my cigarettes fell out of my shirt pocket... we smoked the same brand. From that moment on, the two of us were inseparable. We married shorty there after. A couple of months ago, I quit smoking, after about a year of constant bombardment on television the folks @ Tobacco Free Florida. Last week, I came home from work to find my wife felatiating a short, fat, Danny Devito lookin' type, while he puffed on a Marlboro Red. I asked her, 'Baby, why you gotta do me like that.' Turns out, she has a cigarette fetish. My quitting was the straw that broke the Camel's back in our marriage. She left with the man. Today in the mail I received divorce papers... Thanks Tobacco Free Florida.
Missing his wife and using his hand
Jacksonville Florida


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